Because I'd Hate to Just Disappear: My Cancer, My Self, Our Story
by Don Hardy with Heather Hardy
University of Nevada Press, 2018 Paper: 978-1-943859-73-3 | eISBN: 978-1-943859-76-4 Library of Congress Classification RC643.H29145 2018 Dewey Decimal Classification 616.994190092
ABOUT THIS BOOK | AUTHOR BIOGRAPHY | REVIEWS | TOC | REQUEST ACCESSIBLE FILE
ABOUT THIS BOOK
“Illness, in the larger sense of mortality,” Don Hardy writes, “is an inescapable shared trait among all living creatures, and we humans know about it, whether or not we want to talk about it.”
Because I’d Hate to Just Disappear is a portrait of a husband and wife, Don and Heather Hardy, thrown into the physical and emotional machinery of Don being diagnosed with leukemia and going through chemotherapy and treatment over a period of close to two years.
In this thoughtful and exquisite account, Don and Heather narrate Don’s struggle in real-time. Disarmingly honest, they recount each intimate stage of a couple living through cancer together, the mental and physical struggles, the humor and visceral emotion to reveal how two very different personalities shape—and are shaped by—the experience of cancer and its treatment. Through these moments emerge a constant flow of human kindness and discovery that lifts them each day.
AUTHOR BIOGRAPHY
Donald E. Hardy received a Ph.D. in linguistics from Rice University. He taught linguistics at University of North Texas, Northern Illinois University, Colorado State University, and University of Nevada, Reno, where he is now professor emeritus. In his retirement, he writes, reads, and gives mostly unsolicited advice to his younger friends.
Heather Kay Hardy received her Ph.D. in linguistics from UCLA. She taught linguistics at a number of universities, served as dean of the College of Liberal Arts at Colorado State University and University of Nevada, Reno where she also served as interim executive vice president and provost. She is happily retired and living in Reno with her husband, two cats, and dog.
REVIEWS
“Brave, wise, surprisingly funny, this memoir, alive with intellectual and spiritual questing, is an inspiring response of a husband and wife to mortality.”
— Joe Bonomo, author-Field Recordings from the Inside
“This is a witty, wise, and disarmingly honest account of coping with cancer, depression, and the mysteries of modern marriage. Imagine a friend telling you his most intimate life-and-death story while his wife corrects the record in real time. Along the way, you also learn about the perils of online self-diagnosis, the myriad ways our minds protect us from bad news, and nurse crushes. It doesn't get more human than this.”
— Peter Richardson, Humanities and American Studies Professor, San Francisco State University
TABLE OF CONTENTS
Contents
Preface
Not a Clue
No Matter What It Is
Don’t Clone This
Get the Fuck Out of My Way: I Have Cancer!
Biopsy Surgery: Is Anything About This Going to Be Funny?
Waking Up
How to Talk to People About Your Cancer
Keeping My Story Straight
I’d Rather Not Know Anyway
Quit That Looking at Me!
Where Did I Last See It?
The Evanescence of the Epidermis
Make a Wish
You’re the Expert: So Listen to Me Carefully
I’m Listening—for Now
Welcome to Chemo 101: Any Questions?
Nausea Treatment (to Be Used Only in the Event of an Emergency)
Through the Fog to Gratitude
How Are You? Great, Thanks, and You?
Back So Soon?
“Revelations” from the Infusion Room
My Real Selves
A New Year’s Barbeque
This Is Not What I Had Planned
Existential Dread?
TMI
My Afterlife
My Blind Spots
Letting Go
Fuck Cancer!
Watching but Not Waiting
On Not Being the Center of the Universe
Afterward
Research Interlude
Epilogue
Bibliography
Acknowledgments
About the Authors
REQUEST ACCESSIBLE FILE
If you are a student who has a disability that prevents you
from using this book in printed form, BiblioVault may be able to supply you
with an electronic file for alternative access.
Please have the disability coordinator at your school fill out this form.
Because I'd Hate to Just Disappear: My Cancer, My Self, Our Story
by Don Hardy with Heather Hardy
University of Nevada Press, 2018 Paper: 978-1-943859-73-3 eISBN: 978-1-943859-76-4
“Illness, in the larger sense of mortality,” Don Hardy writes, “is an inescapable shared trait among all living creatures, and we humans know about it, whether or not we want to talk about it.”
Because I’d Hate to Just Disappear is a portrait of a husband and wife, Don and Heather Hardy, thrown into the physical and emotional machinery of Don being diagnosed with leukemia and going through chemotherapy and treatment over a period of close to two years.
In this thoughtful and exquisite account, Don and Heather narrate Don’s struggle in real-time. Disarmingly honest, they recount each intimate stage of a couple living through cancer together, the mental and physical struggles, the humor and visceral emotion to reveal how two very different personalities shape—and are shaped by—the experience of cancer and its treatment. Through these moments emerge a constant flow of human kindness and discovery that lifts them each day.
AUTHOR BIOGRAPHY
Donald E. Hardy received a Ph.D. in linguistics from Rice University. He taught linguistics at University of North Texas, Northern Illinois University, Colorado State University, and University of Nevada, Reno, where he is now professor emeritus. In his retirement, he writes, reads, and gives mostly unsolicited advice to his younger friends.
Heather Kay Hardy received her Ph.D. in linguistics from UCLA. She taught linguistics at a number of universities, served as dean of the College of Liberal Arts at Colorado State University and University of Nevada, Reno where she also served as interim executive vice president and provost. She is happily retired and living in Reno with her husband, two cats, and dog.
REVIEWS
“Brave, wise, surprisingly funny, this memoir, alive with intellectual and spiritual questing, is an inspiring response of a husband and wife to mortality.”
— Joe Bonomo, author-Field Recordings from the Inside
“This is a witty, wise, and disarmingly honest account of coping with cancer, depression, and the mysteries of modern marriage. Imagine a friend telling you his most intimate life-and-death story while his wife corrects the record in real time. Along the way, you also learn about the perils of online self-diagnosis, the myriad ways our minds protect us from bad news, and nurse crushes. It doesn't get more human than this.”
— Peter Richardson, Humanities and American Studies Professor, San Francisco State University
TABLE OF CONTENTS
Contents
Preface
Not a Clue
No Matter What It Is
Don’t Clone This
Get the Fuck Out of My Way: I Have Cancer!
Biopsy Surgery: Is Anything About This Going to Be Funny?
Waking Up
How to Talk to People About Your Cancer
Keeping My Story Straight
I’d Rather Not Know Anyway
Quit That Looking at Me!
Where Did I Last See It?
The Evanescence of the Epidermis
Make a Wish
You’re the Expert: So Listen to Me Carefully
I’m Listening—for Now
Welcome to Chemo 101: Any Questions?
Nausea Treatment (to Be Used Only in the Event of an Emergency)
Through the Fog to Gratitude
How Are You? Great, Thanks, and You?
Back So Soon?
“Revelations” from the Infusion Room
My Real Selves
A New Year’s Barbeque
This Is Not What I Had Planned
Existential Dread?
TMI
My Afterlife
My Blind Spots
Letting Go
Fuck Cancer!
Watching but Not Waiting
On Not Being the Center of the Universe
Afterward
Research Interlude
Epilogue
Bibliography
Acknowledgments
About the Authors
REQUEST ACCESSIBLE FILE
If you are a student who has a disability that prevents you
from using this book in printed form, BiblioVault may be able to supply you
with an electronic file for alternative access.
Please have the disability coordinator at your school fill out this form.
It can take 2-3 weeks for requests to be filled.
ABOUT THIS BOOK | AUTHOR BIOGRAPHY | REVIEWS | TOC | REQUEST ACCESSIBLE FILE