front cover of I Want to Get Married!
I Want to Get Married!
One Wannabe Bride’s Misadventures with Handsome Houdinis, Technicolor Grooms, Morality Police, and Other Mr. Not Quite Rights
By Ghada Abdel Aal
University of Texas Press, 2010

The rules may differ from country to country, but the dating game is a universal constant.

After years of searching for Mr. Right in living-room meetings arranged by family or friends, Ghada Abdel Aal, a young Egyptian professional, decided to take to the blogosphere to share her experiences and vent her frustrations at being young, single, and female in Egypt. Her blog, I Want to Get Married!, quickly became a hit with both men and women in the Arab world. With a keen sense of humor and biting social commentary, Abdel Aal recounts in painful detail her adventures with failed proposals and unacceptable suitors. There's Mr. Precious, who storms out during their first meeting when he feels his favorite athlete has been slighted, and another suitor who robs her in broad daylight, to name just a few of the characters she runs across in her pursuit of wedded bliss.

I Want to Get Married! has since become a best-selling book in Egypt and the inspiration for a television series. This witty look at dating challenges skewed representations of the Middle East and presents a realistic picture of what it means to be a single young woman in the Arab world, where, like elsewhere, a good man can be hard to find.

[more]

front cover of I Would Meet You Anywhere
I Would Meet You Anywhere
A Memoir
Susan Kiyo Ito
The Ohio State University Press, 2023
National Book Critics Circle Award Finalist

“Susan Kiyo Ito is like a surgeon operating on herself. She is delicate, precise, and at times cutting with her words. But it is all in service of her own healing and to encourage us all to be brave enough to do the same in our own stories.” —W. Kamau Bell

Growing up with adoptive nisei parents, Susan Kiyo Ito knew only that her birth mother was Japanese American and her father white. But finding and meeting her birth mother in her early twenties was only the beginning of her search for answers, history, and identity. Though the two share a physical likeness, an affinity for ice cream, and a relationship that sometimes even feels familial, there is an ever-present tension between them, as a decades-long tug-of-war pits her birth mother’s desire for anonymity against Ito’s need to know her origins, to see and be seen. Along the way, Ito grapples with her own reproductive choices, the legacy of the Japanese American incarceration experience during World War II, and the true meaning of family. An account of love, what it’s like to feel neither here nor there, and one writer’s quest for the missing pieces that might make her feel whole, I Would Meet You Anywhere is the stirring culmination of Ito’s decision to embrace her right to know and tell her own story.
[more]

front cover of The Imprint of Another Life
The Imprint of Another Life
Adoption Narratives and Human Possibility
Margaret Homans
University of Michigan Press, 2015

The Imprint of Another Life: Adoption Narratives and Human Possibility addresses a series of questions about common beliefs about adoption. Underlying these beliefs is the assumption that human qualities are innate and intrinsic, an assumption often held by adoptees and their families, sometimes at great emotional cost. This book explores representations of adoption—transracial, transnational, and domestic same-race adoption—that reimagine human possibility by questioning this assumption and conceiving of alternatives.

Literary scholar Margaret Homans examines fiction making’s special relationship to themes of adoption, an “as if” form of family making, fabricated or fictional instead of biological or “real.” Adoption has tended to generate stories rather than uncover bedrock truths. Adoptive families are made, not born; in the words of novelist Jeanette Winterson, “adopted children are self-invented because we have to be.” In attempting to recover their lost histories and identities, adoptees create new stories about themselves. While some believe that adoptees cannot be whole unless they reconnect with their origins, others believe that privileging biology reaffirms hierarchies (such as those of race) that harm societies and individuals. Adoption is lived and represented through an irresolvable tension between belief in the innate nature of human traits and belief in their constructedness, contingency, and changeability. The book shows some of the ways in which literary creation, and a concept of adoption as a form of creativity, manages this tension.

The texts examined include fiction (e.g., classic novels such as Silas Marner, What Maisie Knew, and Beloved); memoirs by adoptees, adoptive parents, and birthmothers; drama, documentary films, advice manuals, social science writing; and published interviews with adoptees, parents, and birth parents. Along the way the book tracks the quests of adoptees who, whether or not they meet their original families, must construct their own stories rather than finding them; follows transnational adoptees as they return, hopes held high, to Korea and China; looks over the shoulders of a generation of girls adopted from China as they watch Disney’s iconic Mulan, with its alluring story of destiny written on the skin; and listens to birthmothers as they struggle to tell painful secrets held for decades.

This book engages in debates within adoption studies, women’s and gender studies, transnational studies, and ethnic studies; it will appeal to literary scholars and critics, including specialists in memoir or narrative theory, and to general readers interested in adoption and in race.

[more]

front cover of Imprisoning America
Imprisoning America
The Social Effects of Mass Incarceration
Mary Pattillo
Russell Sage Foundation, 2004
Over the last thirty years, the U.S. penal population increased from around 300,000 to more than two million, with more than half a million prisoners returning to their home communities each year. What are the social costs to the communities from which this vast incarcerated population comes? And what happens to these communities when former prisoners return as free men and women in need of social and economic support? In Imprisoning America, an interdisciplinary group of leading researchers in economics, criminal justice, psychology, sociology, and social work goes beyond a narrow focus on crime to examine the connections between incarceration and family formation, labor markets, political participation, and community well-being. The book opens with a consideration of the impact of incarceration on families. Using a national survey of young parents, Bruce Western and colleagues show the enduring corrosive effects of incarceration on marriage and cohabitation, even after a prison sentence has been served. Kathryn Edin, Timothy Nelson, and Rechelle Parnal use in-depth life histories of low-income men in Philadelphia and Charleston, to study how incarceration not only damages but sometimes strengthens relations between fathers and their children. Imprisoning America then turns to how mass incarceration affects local communities and society at large. Christopher Uggen and Jeff Manza use survey data and interviews with thirty former felons to explore the political ramifications of disenfranchising inmates and former felons. Harry Holzer, Stephen Raphael, and Michael Stoll examine how poor labor market opportunities for former prisoners are shaped by employers' (sometimes unreliable) background checks. Jeremy Travis concludes that corrections policy must extend beyond incarceration to help former prisoners reconnect with their families, communities, and the labor market. He recommends greater collaboration between prison officials and officials in child and family welfare services, educational and job training programs, and mental and public health agencies. Imprisoning America vividly illustrates that the experience of incarceration itself—and not just the criminal involvement of inmates—negatively affects diverse aspects of social membership. By contributing to the social exclusion of an already marginalized population, mass incarceration may actually increase crime rates, and threaten the public safety it was designed to secure. A rigorous portrayal of the pitfalls of getting tough on crime, Imprisoning America highlights the pressing need for new policies to support ex-prisoners and the families and communities to which they return.
[more]

front cover of In My Father’s Arms
In My Father’s Arms
A Son’s Story of Sexual Abuse
Walter A. de Milly III
University of Wisconsin Press, 2012
first paperback edition:

To the outside world, Walter de Milly's father was a prominent businessman, a dignified Presbyterian, and a faithful husband; to Walter, he was an overwhelming, handsome monster. This paperback edition of In My Father's Arms: A Son's Story of Sexual Abuse adds a reflective preface by the author and a foreword by Richard B. Gartner, author of Beyond Betrayal: Taking Charge of Your Life after Boyhood Sexual Abuse.

"A sensitive and compelling account of father-son incest. In spite of the suffering portrayed, the account also gives testimony to the strength of family bonds, and to the courage and resilience of the human spirit."—Fred S. Berlin, MD, Director of the National Institute for the Study, Prevention and Treatment of Sexual Trauma

"This is the most detailed and utterly plausible account I've ever read of what it feels like to be an abused child, and it is told with cinematic presence and verisimilitude. The anger, the love, the evasiveness and jealousy and confusion, the need to dissociate oneself from one's own actions and reactions—all are presented in a harrowing narrative, which is as tragic as a Greek drama and as engrossing as a Victorian novel. The unexpected element in this book—which falls on it like manna—is its nourishing, exquisite lyricism."—Edmund White, author of A Boy's Own Story

cloth:

"Walter de Milly has written a sensitive and compelling account of father-son incest. In spite of the suffering portrayed, the account also gives testimony to the strength of family bonds, and to the courage and resilience of the human spirit."—Fred S. Berlin, M.D., Director of the National Institute for the Study, Prevention and Treatment of Sexual Trauma

"This is the most detailed and utterly plausible account I've ever read of what it feels like to be an abused child, and it is told with cinematic presence and verisimilitude. The anger, the love, the evasiveness and jealousy and confusion, the need to dissociate oneself from one's own actions and reactions—all are presented in a harrowing narrative, which is as tragic as a Greek drama and as engrossing as a Victorian novel. The unexpected element in this book—which falls on it like manna—is its nourishing, exquisite lyricism."—Edmund White

The TV-perfect family of Walter de Milly III was like many others in the American South of the 1950s—seemingly close-knit, solidly respectable, and active in the community.

Tragically, Walter's deeply troubled father would launch his family on a perilous journey into darkness. To the outside world, this man is a prominent businessman, a dignified Presbyterian, and a faithful husband; to Walter, he is an overwhelming, handsome monster. Whenever the two are together, young Walter becomes a sexual plaything for his father; father and son outings are turned into soul-obliterating nightmares.

Walter eventually becomes a successful businessman only to be stricken by another catastrophe: his father, at the age of seventy, is caught molesting a young boy. Walter is asked to confront his father. Walter convenes his family, and in a private conference with a psychiatrist, the father agrees to be surgically castrated.

De Milly's portraits of his relationships with his father and mother, and the confrontation that leads to his father's bizarre and irreversible voluntary "cure," are certain to be remembered long after the reader has set aside this powerful contribution to the literature of incest survival.

Walter de Milly is a writer living in Key West, Florida.
[more]

front cover of In Reunion
In Reunion
Transnational Korean Adoptees and the Communication of Family
Docan-Morgan, Sara
Temple University Press, 2024
“Do you know your real parents?” is a question many adoptees are asked. In In Reunion, Sara Docan-Morgan probes the basic notions of family, adoption, and parenthood by exploring initial meetings and ongoing relationships that transnational Korean adoptees have had with their birth parents and other birth family members. Drawing from qualitative interviews with adult Korean adoptees in the United States and Denmark, as well as her own experiences as an adoptee, Docan-Morgan illuminates the complexities of communication surrounding reunion.

The paradoxes of adoption and reunion—shared history without blood relations, and blood relations without shared history—generate questions: What does it mean to be “family”? How do people use communication to constitute family relationships? How are family relationships created, maintained, and negotiated over time? In Reunion details adoptive and cultural identities, highlighting how adoptees often end up shouldering communicative responsibility in their family relationships. Interviews reveal how adoptees navigate birth family relationships across language and culture while also attempting to maintain relationships with their adoptive family members.

Docan-Morgan details the challenges, rewards, and contradictions of reunion. She also offers practical recommendations for transnational adoptees in reunion, adoptees considering reunion, adoptive families, and adoption practitioners.

In tracing the stories of the intercultural dynamics inherent in adoptees’ reunions, Docan-Morgan demonstrates the effort, flexibility, empathy, self-reflection, and time required to navigate long-term relationships with birth families.
[more]

front cover of In Sheep's Clothing
In Sheep's Clothing
Understanding and Dealing with Manipulative People
George K. Simon, Ph.D.
Parkhurst Brothers, Inc., 2010

Dr. George Simon knows how people push your buttons.  Your children--especially teens--are expert at it, as is your mate.  A co-worker may quietly undermine your efforts while professing to be helpful, or your boss may prey on your weaknesses.  Manipulative people have two goals: to win and to look good doing it.  Often those they abuse are only vaguely aware of what is happening to them.  In this eye-opening book, you'll also discover...

* 4 reasons why victims have a hard time leaving abusive relationships

* Power tactics manipulators use to push their own agendas and justify their behavior

*Ways to redefine the rules of engagement between you and an abuser

* How to spot potential weaknesses in your character that can set you up for manipulation.

* 12 tools for personal empowerment to help you maintain greater strength in all relationships

[more]

front cover of In Sickness and in Play
In Sickness and in Play
Children Coping with Chronic Illness
Clark, Cindy Dell
Rutgers University Press, 2003

For children who live with a chronic illness, each day is filled with endless treatments, painful symptoms, confusion, and embarrassment. How can an eight-year old girl understand diabetes let alone explain to her schoolmates why she has to leave class to have her blood tested? How can the father of a child with asthma ever sleep soundly through the night with the fear that his son may suffocate in the next room.

In In Sickness and in Play, Cindy Dell Clark tells the stories of children who suffer from two common illnesses that are often underestimated by those not directly touched by them—asthma and diabetes. She describes how play, humor, and other expressive methods, invented by the kids themselves, allow families to cope with the pain. Clark’s work is one of the few studies to focus on maladies that kids must learn to live with rather than die from. Her interviews with forty-six families give readers an understanding of how children comprehend their illnesses and how parents struggle daily to care for their kids while trying to give them a “normal” childhood. Chronically ill children are at a greater risk of developing mental health or social adjustment problems than their peers, and asthma has been gaining ground in both incidence and fatality in recent years. Clark’s eye-opening work emphasizes the importance of improving the lives of these kids by understanding their perspectives, both imagined and real.

In Sickness and in Play is part of the Rutgers Series in Childhood Studies edited by Myra Bluebond-Langer.

[more]

front cover of The Inclusion Illusion
The Inclusion Illusion
How Children with Special Educational Needs Experience Mainstream Schools
Rob Webster
University College London, 2022
An examination of contemporary inclusive pedagogy and how it is failing students with special educational needs and disabilities. 

Inclusion conjures images of children with special educational needs and disabilities (SEND) learning in classes alongside peers in a mainstream school. For pupils in the UK with high-level SEND, who have an Education, Health and Care Plan (formerly a Statement), this implies an everyday educational experience similar to that of their typically developing classmates. Yet in vital respects, they are worlds apart.
 
Based on the UK’s largest observation study of pupils with high-level SEND, this book exposes how attendance at a mainstream school is no guarantee of receiving a mainstream education. Observations of nearly 1,500 lessons in English schools show that these students’ everyday experience of school is characterized by separation and segregation. Furthermore, interviews with nearly five hundred pupils, parents, and school staff reveal the effect of this marginalization on the quality of their education. The book argues that inclusion is an illusion. The way schools are organized and how classrooms are composed creates a form of structural exclusion that preserves mainstream education for typically developing pupils and justifies offering a diluted pedagogy for pupils with high-level SEND. Ultimately, the book suggests why a more authentic form of inclusion is needed, and how it might be achieved.
[more]

front cover of Indigenous Motherhood in the Academy
Indigenous Motherhood in the Academy
Robin Zape-tah-hol-ah Minthorn
Rutgers University Press, 2022
Indigenous Motherhood in the Academy highlights the experiences and narratives emerging from Indigenous mothers in the academy who are negotiating their roles in multiple contexts. The essays in this volume contribute to the broader higher education literature and the literature on Indigenous representation in the academy, filling a longtime gap that has excluded Indigenous women scholar voices. This book covers diverse topics such as the journey to motherhood, lessons through motherhood, acknowledging ancestors and grandparents in one’s mothering, how historical trauma and violence plague the past, and balancing mothering through the healing process. More specific to Indigenous motherhood in the academy is how culture and place impacts mothering (specifically, if Indigenous mothers are not in their traditional homelands as they raise their children), how academia impacts mothering, how mothering impacts scholarship, and how to negotiate loss and other complexities between motherhood and one’s role in the academy.
[more]

logo for Harvard University Press
Indivisible by Two
Lives of Extraordinary Twins
Nancy L. Segal
Harvard University Press, 2005

A leading expert on twins delves into the stories behind her research to reveal the profound joys and real-life traumas of twelve remarkable sets of twins, triplets, and quadruplets.

Indivisible by Two introduces us to an assortment of memorable characters, from the “Fireman Twins”—brothers who, though reared separately, are astonishingly similar in personality and behavioral traits—to the twin sisters who overcame one twin’s infertility by having the other serve as her surrogate mother. We meet one of the few identical brother–sister pairs in the world after one of two sisters was surgically transformed into a man, and identical triplet brothers, only one of whom is gay while the others are straight. We see uniquely blended families—identical twin brothers marrying identical twin sisters, and Chinese twins adopted by different Canadian families yet raised as sisters.

Being a twin can also render the experience of historical tragedy uniquely painful. We meet Stepha and Annetta, survivors of Josef Mengele’s heinous experiments in Auschwitz, and untangle the troubled lifelong tie between Jack and Oskar, born in the 1930s to a Jewish father and a German Gentile mother, one raised as a Jew in Trinidad and the other as a Catholic and a member of the Hitler Youth in Nazi Germany.

Nancy Segal unravels these stories and others with an eye for the challenges that life as a twin (or triplet or quadruplet) can pose to parents, friends, and spouses, as well as the twins themselves. These moving stories remind us how incompletely any theory explains real life—twin or not.

[more]

front cover of Inner Lives of Deaf Children
Inner Lives of Deaf Children
Interviews and Analysis
Martha Sheridan
Gallaudet University Press, 2005

By conducting interviews with seven deaf children, ages seven to ten, Martha Sheridan offers a fresh look at their private thoughts and feelings in this watershed book. Each child possesses a unique cultural background, and Sheridan communicated with each in his or her preferred method of communication. Her procedure remained consistent with each: In addition to standard questions, Sheridan asked each child to draw a picture based on his or her life, then tell a story about it. Next, she showed them magazine pictures and asked them to describe what they saw.

The results proved to be as varied as they were engaging. Angie, an adopted deaf girl who communicates in Signed English, expressed a desire to attend a hearing college when she grows up while also stating she hoped her own children will be deaf. Joe, an African-American, hard of hearing boy, drew pictures of deaf people who are teased in a public school, reflecting his own difficult experiences.

Sheridan calls upon her tenure as a social worker as well as her own experience as a deaf child growing up in a hearing family in analyzing her study’s results. She writes, “These children have strengths, they have positive experiences, and they enjoy positive relationships.” Inner Lives of Deaf Children will prove to be an enlightening read for parents and scholars alike.

[more]

front cover of The Innovative Parent
The Innovative Parent
Raising Connected, Happy, Successful Kids through Art
Erica Curtis
Ohio University Press, 2019

2019 National Parenting Products Award Winner

Even the best talk-based practices in parenting can be limiting. How can art help parents temper storms of emotion, defuse sibling conflicts, get teeth brushed, and raise happy, successful kids? In The Innovative Parent, Erica Curtis and Ping Ho integrate cutting-edge research, years of clinical expertise, and their own parenting experience into a revolutionary yet practical guide to creative parenting. Plentiful illustrations and anecdotes bring concepts to life and show art in action with kids and parents.

Together, Curtis and Ho let parents in on art therapy trade secrets to help children make sense of emotions, build connections with others, develop problem-solving skills, resolve day-to-day conflicts, process and retain information, confront fears and anxiety, and much more. These are complex tasks for something as seemingly simple as making art, yet therein lies the beauty of The Innovative Parent: its down-to-earth approach is simple, doable, and fun.

[more]

front cover of International Surrogacy as Disruptive Industry in Southeast Asia
International Surrogacy as Disruptive Industry in Southeast Asia
Whittaker, Andrea
Rutgers University Press, 2019
During the last two decades, a new form of trade in commercial surrogacy grew across Asia. Starting in India, a “disruptive” model of surrogacy offered mass availability, rapid accessibility, and created new demands for surrogacy services from people who could not afford or access surrogacy elsewhere.
 
In International Surrogacy as Disruptive Industry in Southeast Asia, Andrea Whittaker traces the development of this industry and its movement across Southeast Asia following a sequence of governmental bans in India, Nepal, Thailand, and Cambodia. Through a case study of the industry in Thailand, the book offers a nuanced and sympathetic examination of the industry from the perspectives of the people involved in it: surrogates, intended parents, and facilitators. The industry offers intended parents the opportunity to form much desired families, but also creates vulnerabilities for all people involved. These vulnerabilities became evident in cases of trafficking, exploitation, and criminality that emerged in southeast Asia, leading to greater scrutiny on the industry as a whole. Yet the trade continues in new flexible hybrid forms, involving the circulation of reproductive gametes, embryos, surrogates, and ova donors across international borders to circumvent regulations. The book demonstrates the need for new forms of regulation to protect those involved in international surrogacy arrangements.
[more]

front cover of Intimate Inequalities
Intimate Inequalities
Millennials' Romantic Relationships in Contemporary Times
Cristen Dalessandro
Rutgers University Press, 2021
When it comes to the topic of romantic and sexual intimacy, social observers are often quick to throw criticisms at millennials. However, we know little about millennials’ own hopes, fears, struggles, and triumphs in their relationships from the perspectives of millennials themselves. Intimate Inequalities uses millennials’ own stories to explore how they navigate gender, race, social class, sexuality, and age identities and expectations in their relationships. Situating millennials’ lives within contemporary social and cultural conditions in the United States, Intimate Inequalities takes an intersectional approach to examining how millennials challenge—or rather, uphold—social inequalities in their lives as they come into their own as full adults. Intimate Inequalities provides an in-depth look into the intimate lives of one group of millennials living in the United States, demystifying what actually goes on behind closed doors, and arguing that millennials’ private lives can reveal much about their ability to navigate inequalities in their lives more broadly.
 
[more]

front cover of It's Not Your Fault!
It's Not Your Fault!
Strategies for Solving Toilet Training and Bedwetting Problems
Joseph Barone, M.D.
Rutgers University Press, 2015
Millions of children over the age of five wet their beds every night. Many parents think they must be doing something wrong when their five-year-old is still in diapers while their friends’ children are perfectly trained by eighteen months of age. This undoubtedly is a very embarrassing and frustrating problem for both the parent and child, and can interfere with family dynamics and a child’s ability to enjoy ordinary social situations.  

It’s Not Your Fault! offers evidence-based strategies for parents who need assistance with toilet training and helping their child with urinary control issues. Dr. Joseph Barone, M.D., provides proven techniques that bring bedwetting to a happy conclusion. Frequently, parents are misguided by bad advice from friends, TV talk shows, the Internet, or parenting books. With many years of clinical experience, Dr. Barone shares valuable, practical information for parents to guide them through the basics of toilet training and bedwetting, and presents management plans to resolve any difficulties that occur. A comprehensive guide, this book covers everything parents need to know about normal toilet training and bedwetting, as well as step-by-step solutions based on testing and research in a real-world setting to help children suffering from delayed toilet training, bed wetting, and daytime urinary wetting.

It’s Not Your Fault! provides hope and guidance to those desperate to help their children overcome urinary control and toilet training problems. Dr. Barone sets parents on a course that makes things better for both themselves and their children.
[more]


Send via email Share on Facebook Share on Twitter