Contents
Selected
The Art of Poetry
What She Wanted
Loving Ugly
Ozzie Nelson Dead of Cancer
Admission Requirements of U. S. and Canadian Dental Schools
Soothing the Unheralded Organs
Panty Hose
Plastic Man, Alone in the Luncheonette, Reaches the Length of the Counter for the Salt
Beautiful Eyes for a Boy
The Manager of the Drive-In Dairy
Secrets of Writing Revealed at Last
Things That Make You So Scared You Can’t Swallow So You Start to Cry and You Tell Them That You’ll Do Anything If They’ll Just Leave You Alone
A Dazed Survivor Recounts the Events Leading Up to the Tragedy
Christmas Card
Moving Day
To Impress the Girl Next Door
Guys at the Races
Future Farmers of America
What a Varied Place the World Is So Trusting and Strange So Deserving of Love and Praise
Victims
Orphan
Field Report from Sodom
Lazarus
Mr. Big
Killing Time
I Never Touch My Penis
On the Anniversary of His Death the Men of the Village Meet to Talk about Frankenstein
“The Thing Is Not to Let Go of the Vine”
Diary Cows
Touring the Crèches
A Word of Prayer in the Parking Lot of a Mexican Restaurant
The Undead
Days Off
With a Million Things to Do, the Doctor Muses, Anyway
Written Almost in the Dark
On the Way Home From ICU
For My Daughter
Dirty Post Cards
“These Students Couldn’t Write Their Way Out of a Paper Bag.”
Ganesha
Playing Doctor
5:00
On the Origin of Animal Demographics and Communication
If You Lived Here You’d Be Home Now
Caesar’s Gallic Wars
Searchlights
Horse & Cows
Sidekicks
Inventions of Troglodytes
Boy’s Life
The Mummy
Men & Women
Have You Heard the One about the Soul?
Excerpts from “God’s Secret Diary”
She
Not Only Naked Indian Girls and Booze but 10-Point Bucks That Line Up Just Begging to Be Shot and Bass in Shoals So Thick a Man Could Walk across the Water on Their Backs.
Night
Pornography
Green
Coming Out
The Strain of It All Drives Bambi Mad
Missing Persons
The History of Poetry
Darkness Fell
Nurses at the Beach
Christmas Eve
Sex Object
At Gerlach’s
Nags
Coloring
The War
All Thumbs
Summer Job
Easter
The Last Siesta
Baby, It’s You
Sweaters
Now and Then
“Fundamentalist Group Rejects Nudist Campsite”
Grace
Trail’s End Curios
New
My Name
Out of Body Experiences
Thirteenth Birthday Party
The Other Side
Ruidoso, N. M.
A Little Kid
The Man in the Moon
Road Kill
In Search Of
Making Love to Roget’s Wife
The Lost Continent
I Take My Toes
The Kids-Only Motel
Lava Soap
An Infinite Number of Monkeys
Hula
Flirting with Poetry
First Grade
“On the Tip of My Tongue”
Boy
Books
The Abstraction Ladder
A Night School Teacher Looks at His Final Class
Hermits
A Guide to Refreshing Sleep